Wreaked

"Wreaked!"  It's a great word.  It has s many connotations, especially for an Irish 30 something.

Wreaked: as in I wreaked the house.

Wreaked : as in "I drank so much I was fuckin' wreaked" (a personal fave when in my early '20's)

However, it's a different wreaked I need to discuss; the one where when you declare you are wreaked from pure unadulterated mental and emotional exhaustion.  I am having one of those days I fear....a "wreaked" day.

The funny thing about wreaked days is there often is no rhyme or reason why you are done in on that particular day as opposed to any other.  The routine isn't any different, the drop offs, pick ups, daily grind kind of stuff is all same old same ole.  Yet, if you really delve into the day and it's inner workings and lift the veil of routine you will always find a deeply hidden trigger for wreakedness.  With my lot it's always something to do with the 24/7 nature of parenting two spectrum kids (plus a rather hyper typical  toddler).

Today's wreakedness came upon me with sly and cunning stealth.  Instead of being done in by bedtime, I was officially done in by 6pm.  And I fear it has mainly to do with Jake's mood and general pissyness.  Now, if you understand anything about high functioning autistic individuals it's how the slightest thing can swing them from one mood to another in a nanosecond, yet the tantrum that ensues can easily go on for an hour.

Today Jake deboarded the bus and his mood was apparent before seat belts were buckled.  He is/was just flat out ornery, moody, narcissistic and the slightest mention of No invited an all out meltdown.  Here's the deal, when this was Jake 2 years ago pre gluten free diet, pre current IEP and pre current behavioral goals, it was just part of the daily living in our house.  So, after 6 months of pretty good stability to have one of those early days thrust back at me.....well, let's just say my capacity for wreakedness has diminished somewhat.    Put it this way; remember when you would be able to guzzle a 6 pack and be relatively sober ....well, this is like drinking one beer and being flat out hammered....you could even say I'm wreaked!